Start with the one about your phone.

Most Useless of Devils,

I find myself shocked at your ignorance of the most elementary principles of temptation theory. Are you a moron, or merely a convincing imitator? Simple vices, or, to give them a more benign label, “bad habits,” are foundational to the work of any worthy tempter. (Whether or not you are one remains to be seen.)

Let me restate the obvious: stop bothering with any unrespectable or socially disliked vices. For instance, in your patient’s circles, bigotry and drunkenness are already out of fashion, so if you set about encouraging those vices you’ll be swimming against the current.

Socially acceptable vices, of which every society has plenty, are the obvious choice. In the 1950s, I would have encouraged your patient toward three-martini lunches. Today, I’d emphasize two hours every evening on his phone.

Instagram is clearly more addictive than liquor, and much better for our purposes. Booze lowers inhibitions (helpful), but it can also all too easily bring a person into joyous camaraderie (disastrous.) And hangovers are, effectively, built-in penance, an example of how the Enemy unfairly uses natural consequences to steer humans back towards what he cynically calls “the good life.”